Dorm life is a better way to live compared to home life.When living in a dorm, you are on your own and realize personal responsibility is a result of your independence. Besides the many life lessons learned in a dorm, life itself is less of a hassle. A person does not have to commute, and could leave five minutes before class without being late. In a dorm, you are living amongst friends, and it is a great way to meet new people.According to a study conducted by The University of Washington, although students who dorm have the tendency to have their GPA drop, they still prefer dorm life over home life. Home life does not compare to dorm life due to the lessons learned, its convenience, and the overall fun of living on your own.
Dorm life can not be compared to home life. In a dorm, there are always activities going on, and there is always something to do. When living amongst your peers, you often have similar interests, and you are forced to associate with one another. People meet new people, and strong friendships are created. According to Meghan Oleary, "When you live in a dorm, it's hard to be lonely. There's always someone hanging out in the hallway looking for a friendly conversation." Personally, a dorm has given me many activities to do. I have made so many friends, and there are constantly people coming in and out of my dorm. Sometimes, I feel like being left alone, however I am glad that there are so many friends who want to go out and have a good time. Dorm life definitely has a positive impact on an student's social life.
On the contrary, home life does have some benefits. A college education is extremely expensive, and by living at home a student would not have to bear the expense of a dorm. However, there are millions of scholarships out there to pay for the cost of a dorm. According to a survey done by Natwest Student Money Matters in 2006, 1 in every 5 university students live at home during their studies, and this trend is steadily rising. At home, a person has all of the privacy he or she needs, and does not have to deal with friends constantly, especially in a co ed dorm can often lead to controversy. Everyone is involved in each others business, and privacy is often lacking. Personally, l would rather have privacy lacking than to be bored alone at home. A student has a lot of distractions in a dorm, where at home a person has more time do take care of important things, and to study. Yet college years are supposed to be the most fun time of a person's life, and what 18 year old wants to study rather than go out. College students want to have a good time, and enjoy being young.
Dorm life is extremely convenient for a student. To be able to wake up five minutes before class starts, and not be late is great. Many people have class and a break between class and have nowhere to go. It is convenient to be able to get a couple of more hours of sleep before going back to class. According to Naomi Rockler, "lf you feel like rolling out of bed at 9:45 to go to your 10:00 a.m. class? No problem if you live on campus! You can walk everywhere that you need to go and don't have to deal with the hassles of parking and commuting."Food is available constantly in the multiple cafes on campus, and everything is a walking distance away. Me being an athlete living on campus is ideal. The baseball field is my backyard, and the fitness center is across the street. In the winter time, there is a batting cage constantly open for baseball players in the school, and this is a 2 minute walk from where I sleep. For non athletes, there is a pool hall and many other fun activities to do. Food, fun, and class are all so close, therefore the convenience of a dorm is unmatched.
Living in a dorm teaches a person many life lessons. In a dorm, a person is forced to make their own decisions, and learns how these decisions impact their lives. The freedom which is provided by living on a dorm can however affect an individual positively as well as negatively.A person has no one to tell him or her to go to class, and not to go out the night before exams. According to the College Life, "Some college students don't mind living with their parents. And some do. When you're living away from home, your parents will have a whole lot less say in your everyday life-- and to many students, that's exhilarating."A person learns how to live and interact with others, and how to fend for them self. These lessons could not be learned at home, making a dorm beneficial to teaching life lessons as well.
In conclusion, dorm life is a better way to live than home life. Although home life has its advantages, it does not compare to the experience of living in a dorm. There is constant fun in a dorm, and living amongst your peers always gives a person something to do. It is extremely convenient to live on campus, especially not having to wake up early for class. Living in a dorm teaches responsibility, and teaches a person how to make decisions and live with the consequences of those decisions. Dorm life is indeed the best way to live.
1A) The essay will be about dorm life and its advantages over living at home.
ReplyDelete1B) The writer supports dorm life.
1C) The writer tries to hook your attention by listing the many ways living in a dorm is better than living at home.
1D)
-Be more specific when using a source. Who exactly at the University of Washington was quoted?
-The first sentence isn't needed.
2)
-Greater amount of freedom.
-You become independent and learn how to be responsible.
-No long commuting.
-Live amongst your friends; meet new people.
-Many activities going on.
3)
-Living in a dorm is more expensive.
-More privacy.
-Less distractions.
4A) The writer dedicates a whole paragraph of counterarguments. He makes notes of how some advantages may also be disadvantages.
4B) The writer has a very strong introduction. It really brings the reader in with the points made about dorm living being more advantageous than living at home.
4C) The counterarguments should be spread out throughout the essay because if there is one whole paragraph just stating the different opposing arguments, the writer will seem like he is on both sides of the argument, rather than just one. The writer should state counterarguments in separate paragraphs and then explain his side of the argument following.
4D) Besides the counterarguments, the points of the argument are expressed in a very organized manner.
4E) Dorm life is simplistic. No monthly bills, less cleaning to worry about, no need for much grocery shopping.
4F) Worries of cleanliness in bathrooms or dorm rooms (some schools are known to have bed bugs). The writer may say that some people worry about cleanliness but he can say that bathrooms are cleaned daily.
5) Dorm life, compared to living at home, has many advantages that are beneficial to college students.
6)
"In a dorm, you are on your own, and a person quickly learn that this independence leads to responsibility."
-When living in a dorm, you are on your own and realize personal responsibility is a result of your independence.
"A dorm definitely has a positive impact on the social life of a person."
-Dorm life definitely has a positive impact on an student's social life."
7)
-A conclusion should sum up the whole essay but should not sound the same as the introduction. Rewrite the conclusion differently so that it does not sound repetitive.
-Eliminate the first sentence in the introduction.
-Work on the transition from the intro the the 1st body paragraph because the last sentence of the intro and the 1st sentence of the following paragraph sound too similar.
-"Food, fun, and class are all so close, therefore the convenience of a dorm is unmatched." - Replace "unmatched" with a different word.
-Spread out the counterarguments instead of piling them into one big chunk.
1.
ReplyDeleteA) The essay will be about dorm life.
B) The author is for living on dorm.
C) The introduction tries to hook my attention by presenting the benefits of living on a dorm such as being very convenient and allowing for one to become responsible and independent.
D)
• I think the writer needs to remove or rearrange the first sentence. The ways it is structured suggest that he is for living at home as oppose to living on a dorm. I would suggest that he writes, “People argues that home life is more convenient than dorm life but I strongly disagree.” to support is argument.
• I also think the author needs a stronger opening statement such as “ On the contrary to popular belief living on a dorm has greater advantages than living at home”
2.
• Improves the social life of a person
• Very convenient for a student as one is able to arrive to classes early.
• Enables for one to learn life lessons such as becoming a responsible person.
3. Home life is better as it’s cheaper, provides more privacy, less distractions and availability of good home cooked meals.
4.
A. I didn’t think the writer dealt with the opposition very well. I think the writer should have instead written the counterarguments and then counterattack it with his own arguments within the same paragraph rather than giving the opposition one whole paragraph for itself. I also think that he should have not mentioned the benefits of living at home in the second to last paragraph. I would have suggested that he had mention them in the second or third paragraph so as to allow the reader to be more focus on dorm life than on the benefits of home life.
B. I think the writer’s strongest point is the fact that living on dorm prevents commuting as it can be very stressful for one who is coming from a far to drive everyday to an from school.
C. I think the writer’s weakest point is mentioning that one can take part in a lot of fun activities living on a dorm. This can be seen as being very negative because it can lead to one spending less time doing ones school work and spending more time doing fun activities which can ultimately result in poor grades .I think this argument could be strengthen by mentioning that even though one is able to do fun activities there are strict rules outlining the # of hours one can spend doing fun activities.
D. I think the point about home life as an advantage could be place more to the beginning than to the end.
E. Dorm life allows for one to have easy access to professors as sometimes professor tend to have late night meeting hours.
F. In dorms individuals tend to be involved in activities that they are not allow to do. Such as “party at the summit”
5. On the contrary to popular belief living on a dorm has greater advantages than living at home. Living on a dorm prevent one from commuting to and from school which allows one to arrive early for classes and also prevent one from waiting hours upon hours to get a bus to go home. While living at home enables for privacy it prevent one from socializing and meeting new people which living on a dorm provides. Being on a dorm allows for individuals to become more independent and as such allowing for one to become a more responsible person. The many life lessons which are also learnt on a dorm make life itself less of a hassle. Dorm life cannot be compared to home life due to the many lessons learnt, the convenience and the overall fun of living on a dorm.
6.
• Food is available constantly in the multiple cafes on campus, and everything is a walks distance away. Food is constantly available as a result of the multiple cafes on campus and everything is a walking distance away
• The freedom a person has an impact on people, and some people handle it good, yet others handle it negatively. The freedom which is provided by living on a dorm can however affect an individual positively as well as negatively.
7.
The writer have great arguments to back up his claim I however believe that he should combine the counterarguments with his counterattacking arguments.
This essay will be about dorm life and home life. The writer feels that it is better for a college student to live in a dorm than to live at home. The introduction didn’t “hook” me. Perhaps, the writer can improve this by putting more of “himself” into the paragraph. He could include briefly his own personal experience with dorm life. This would make his tone more relatable which could help “reel” the reader in from the very beginning. I would also eliminate the first sentence of the paragraph because it doesn’t add anything to the introduction. The second sentence, which is the thesis statement, should be the first sentence of the introduction. I would reword the thesis statement. Maybe the thesis statement could be: “It is better to live in a dorm than it is to live at home.”
ReplyDeleteThe writer’s arguments are:
*College students learn more about responsibility if they live in a dorm.
*It is easier to make it to one’s classes if he/she lives on campus.
*Living on campus helps a student become more social.
*You learn more life lessons if you live in a dorm.
* Living in a dorm is more fun than living at home.
The counterarguments are:
*It is more expensive to live in a dorm than it is to live at home.
*Student has more privacy when they live at home.
*Home-cooked meals are better than food found on campus.
*There are fewer distractions if you live at home.
*Sometimes it is hard living with a complete stranger in a small space.
The writer talks about the counterarguments, but he doesn’t defend his argument when it is placed up against the counterarguments. He doesn’t try to convince the reader that he/she should agree with his argument. The writer’s strongest point is that students become more social if they live on campus and not at home. This is a strong point because it becomes harder to meet people when you start college and living on campus makes that task an easier one. The writer’s weakest point is that a student learns more life lessons if he/she lives in a dorm. This point is a weak one because I think life lessons are learned no matter where you choose to live. Lessons are learned everywhere and anywhere, especially as you get older. Living in a dorm doesn’t have anything to do with that. I would eliminate this argument just because I think it’d be hard to back it up with something solid research-wise.
I feel that the counterarguments should not go in the next to last paragraph. The reader is left with the counterarguments at the end of the essay and begins to feel like perhaps they should agree with the counterarguments more than the writer’s argument. The counterarguments should come up sooner in the essay.
Another strong point could be that a student living on campus can focus on his/her work more than a student living at home who can be distracted with family problems or demands. Another counterargument could be that living at home gives you a creative freedom when it comes to how you’d like your room to be. Messy, clean, big bed, posters…..it doesn’t matter. You can decorate it how you want to. You don’t need to have someone else’s input like you would in a dorm room.
“Living in a dorm teaches responsibility, and teaches a person how to make decisions and live with the consequences of those decisions. Dorm life indeed is the best way to live.”
The sentences above could be rewritten to be like this: “Students who live on campus learn to be more responsible than students who choose to live at home. Dorm life is the best way to live.”
I would suggest…
*removing “In conclusion..” from the last paragraph
*remove the last sentence from the second to last paragraph
*remove “on the contrary” from the beginning of the second to last paragraph. Sounds like writer is trying to sound “college-like” instead of just himself
*add a bit more research about dorm life vs. home life to help back up the argument
Amanda Wright
ReplyDelete1.
A.
The essay is about dorm life's advantages
B.
The author is pro dorm life
C.
The author hooks my attention because I never knew that people's gpas drop because of dorm life.
D.
The introduction could have some more of the arguments to let us know what the body paragraphs are going to be about.
2.
The arguments that help support the author's thesis are that dorm life can help a person socially, and it is very hard to be lonely while living in a dorm. Another argument is that dorm life is very convinient because you can leave 5 minutes before class, and everything you need is basically in walking distance.
3.
Some of the counterarguments are that dorm life is expensive, and that you do not have privacy in a dorm.
4.
A.
I think the author addresses the counter arguments very well.
B.
The author's strongest points are that he puts himself and uses himself as examples to prove his thesis.
C.
I think the author needs to use more sources to back up his thesis.
D.
I like the way that the essay is organized because its not all arguments and then counterarguments at the end, they are mixed and it works very well.
E.
The people who dorm are more likely to attend class and gain more responsiblities then if they lived at home and had to commute.
F.
People who dorm tend to get themselves into trouble by doing things they are not supposed to do or not allowed to do.
5.
In my opinion the introduction is done well, but I would add more about what you wrote in the essay so they are cohesive with each other.
6.
There is constant fun in a dorm, and living amongst your peers always gives a person something to do.
*Living among others your own age insures there is always something to do and makes dorm life and college life more fun overall.
When living amongst your peers, you often have similar interests, and you are forced to associate with one another.
*Dorm life forces association between young people and causes great friendship to occur.
7. I would get more sources to back up your thesis and make the essay stronger.
The essay will be about whether dorming and living at home.
ReplyDeleteThe writer thinks dorming is better.
The introduction does hook my attention because he made points like dorming is a way to be more independent and becoming a responsible adult.
The first sentence could be change or could be reworded. i think every where that has home life should be change to "living at home"
arguments
become more responsible
traveling is easier
more fun
independent
counter-arguments
expensive
no privacy
the writer had a good opposition but in paragraph three where you did the opposition i dont think you should counter your counter-arugment because that would make your counter-argument a argument.
The strong point i think is that living on campus gives you more experience of meeting new people and having a better soical life. Also traveling to college can be stressful having to look for parking or deal with public transportation.
The weak point i think
The weakest point is that dorming teaches you life lessons paragraph five. it doesn't matter who or where you live your an adult at 18 it's your choice to make the right decisions and the ones that are more beneficial to you
your organization i think needs to put in an order because you start out with arguments then counter-argument followed by a agrument with the same paragraph as your counter-argument, then you have another paragraph that is for your argument.
strong point Living at campus you have no chores, do not take orders, from anyone like parents; do what you feel like kind of thing
weak point dorming life gives the students too much freedom and it may get wild and can lead people to get in trouble or even kicked out of college.
thesis "Living in a dorm gives you the experience of freedom, responsibility, and independence."
Personally, l would rather have privacy lacking than to be bored alone at home.
"Personally I would rather have less privacy, than been bored and alone at home ."
Home life does not compare to dorm life due to the lessons learned, its convenience, and the overall fun of living on your own.
"Living at home does not compare to living in a dorm, it’s convenient, you learn how to be more responsible and overall it is fun."
your conclusion do not start with In conclusion. work on your organization and transition between the paragraphs, it doesnt have a flow to it.
This article is about the choice of choosing college life or dorm life. The writer is for dorming rather then college life. This article hooked me in by talking about something that most people in my age group talk about with their parents. The only thing i'd suggest for the intro is put some what of a counterargument in their to show that their are some that don't prefer dorm life.
ReplyDeleteThe arguments are that dorm life is social, keeps one busy, and is always around college.
The counterarguments are that one gets privacy at home, a person does not get distracted, and save money.
The opposition was addressed well especially when even tho most prefer privacy he said he'd rather have no privacy then being bored. The writers strongest points are talking about how money doesn't have to be a problem and relating him own experiences in the writing. His weak points were that some of his strong points. Even tho some of your strong points were great they sound like a distraction from school work. The essay was well organized. Some arguments you can use are the responsablities of dorm life help one later on when they are out in the world, and that dorm life shows what you need to improve about yourself has in timing. Some counterarguments you can address is that dorm life cause distraction from schoool work where you can then say has a support for your arguments that one learns to manage their time so they can get work done and have fun.
The inrto was good but just like i said in the beginning you need a counterargument.
The paragraphing was good, as well as the transition between paragraphs. The ending you need to get rid of in conclusion, and just have the regular sentence their.
1]
ReplyDeletea) the essay is about the benefits of living the dorm life
b) the writer believes that it is best to live at dorms while attending college
c) the writer hooks my attention by mentioning the advantages of living in a dorm. shows the readers that it is less time consuming.
d)a sentence that he can use is "For those seniors in high school that are having trouble deciding if they should dorm in college...."
-helps hook the attention of the seniors in high school, since they are his main audience
- OR he can use this essay to persuade parents into letting their children dorm in college.
2]
- in the dorm life there is always something to do
- dont need to waste time on commuting to school
- great way to network and meet new friends
- learn a lot more about being responsible.
- improves students social life
- a lot of places for you to go and spend time
- theres always food on campus
3] counter argument is living at home.
- more privacy
- less expensive
- less distractions
4]
a) the writer should use his counterargument more towards his advantage. does not show a great connection as to his opposition helping his argument out more.
b)the writers strongest point is the benefit or learning to be more responsible. Learning to mature and learning life lessons.
c)his weakest point is having fun while dorming. to strengthen this point try to explain it has harmless fun which would not affect your GPA,because this point would not persuade parents to let their children dorm.
d)his points can be organized better.
- put the thoughts of waking up 15 minutes before class together and the commuting to school together as a point of not having to waste more time.
- put the point of fun activities that are available around campus and the point of boosting up a student's social life together.
- stop repeating that living a dorm life would help a students learn life lessons. organize it to be in one paragraph and go into depth.
e) no strong points come to mind to recommend.
f) when leaving your child to dorm, you are leaving your child with full responsibility of his or herself, which means that you are not going to be informed of how well he/she is doing in school. big chance that your child might not concentrate on his/her schoolwork since now they have freedom. GPA might go down, student might get kicked out of school.
5] The best way to carry on with college is to dorm. When you are in college living in a dorm has more advantages. Living the dorm life helps you learn more about personal responsibility. Dorming helps to prepare you to deal with situations alone without the help of your parents or guardians. Also, commuting to school is the last thing to worry about while living in a dorm. There is no need to worry about catching the bus or train on time.
6]"On the contrary, home life does have some benefits."
-on the contrary, home life does not have as many benefits as dorm life.
"Dorm life is extremely convenient for a student."
-Dorm life is most convenient for a college student.